It's Battle Time Baby

I am an *avid* game player. I love challenges, strategy, and having fun. I work hard and I like to play hard too. I go for it on all levels. Games help motivate me and keep me surging forward consistently.

Recently, after getting bored of the farming games and mafia war games (which I only tried in the first place because I judged them and wanted to figure out what the heck people were raving about so much), I shopped around for something new to try. I was bored.

My favorite gaming platform is the iPhone as it's always with me and I can download seemingly infinite games to suit my current fancy. Unfortunately I don't know any of my real friends who are as into games as I, so I'm usually on my own to figure out what is the next new fun thing to try.  I was looking for something that could keep me interested and intrigued....

After some perusing, I found one that had warnings in its reviews from its users claiming that you should not try it because you’ll get sucked into a vortex of fun and you won't be able to escape it. Stay away, they warned. You won’t be able to put it down.

So of course, this absolutely drew me into the free download - immediately. I checked it out.

Just now I am rising for a breath of air, exactly one month to the day after beginning, and I am totally in love with the game. I feel energized by it on many levels. It helps spark me creatively in lots of ways with various deep parallels to my real life.  It is a lot of fun not only because it is so applicable but also because of the elements of being a massive multiplayer online role playing game (aka MMORPG - in which game play is very much involved with others) and it contains a time element that draws you back in throughout the day.

This is amazingly ironic for me because I NEVER would have guessed I’d end up playing a war game. I have previously avoided conflict all together. I stuck to the light side of things; I was dogmatically positive - almost as a means of survival, but hidden under a cloak of "preference".

Then I realized that integration is key. Integration is true balance and contains everything, all of it. Nothing is left out. And what’s fascinating is that I feel more “positive” or truly happy since merging with the negative or dark side of myself rather than disowning it or being ashamed of it. The things I saw as bad are understood, valued, and worked on. They are divine breadcrumbs to my biggest opportunities for growth and healing.

Anyway, through this game, I’ve expanded my understanding of the beauty and art of battle.  Actually I truly enjoy being in battles and am excited to learn more advanced strategies.

War is the facing of two extremes for a grand reconciliation. It's the ultimate dance off, you could say. In which, after the destruction, brings a fresh ground for re-birth. From this new, empty space the side that “lost” can build something even better with their hard-earned new knowledge and experience.  And what’s amazing is that not only are so many lessons learned about what could have been done better by each (if they pay attention at all without letting their ego consume them completely), there is often a mending between the two sides. Compassion from the attacker more easily arises once things have evened out and admiration from the defeated may grow as well. Friendships may rise if both are true warriors; a respect is gained.

So… happy battling. Enjoy the dance. Always remember Strength and Honor™.

PS - If you're interested in the game name, just send me a quick email and I'll tell you.  I don't want to have it posted for everyone to see, but am happy to share individually.  It can be played online as well. :)

by Danielle Crume © 2009

A Tranquil Thought

This feels amazing and it only takes two minutes. :)


When you feel like you're overwhelmed with thoughts or have too many things going on in your head, stop.  As soon as you're aware of it, just pause for a moment.  Silence all the thoughts completely.  (It will only be for a bit and don't worry, they will come back if you want).


Take a nice full breath and relax your arms at your side.  Keep breathing deeply as you raise your arms to stretch them up high.  Allow your body to move around in a natural wiggle - kind of rolling around to release built up blocks, to stretch out your body, and cycle your energy.


If you're really present, you may break into a dance - so watch out now!


Just kidding.  But try it.  It's fun.

by Danielle Crume © 2009

Being Happy - From the *Inside* Out

I've always been a people watcher.  As a young girl, I openly looked at everyone I came in contact with, wondering who was the happiest?  It was a little disheartening during my exploration to uncover that it seemed that almost everyone had a significant amount of unhappiness and troubles in life.  I guess I wanted to live a fairy tale.  Some people, however, had a great time with life even through its challenges.  


I noticed that those who were happiest usually had a sense of humor about their experience.  They weren't richer, more beautiful, or better off.  They were just happy with what was and were strong in rolling with it.  Everyone goes through hard times.


Being truly happy is not by getting somewhere or accomplishing something.  It is a part of who you are.  It is your character, your essential being, the fabric of you.  Children are often born with a knowing of it, but many of us lose touch with it along the way.

"Most people are about as happy as

they make up their minds to be" 

~Abraham Lincoln

Happiness is a personal thing.  And we're all different.  That being said, these are recurring patterns of characteristics of those who are consistently happy:

• Have Preferences Instead of Needs.  Ask for what you want, but don't be unhappy if you don't get it.  Go with the flow and make the best with what is.  

"Do not spoil that which you have by desiring what you have not;
but remember that what you now have was once among the things
you only hoped for." ~Epicurus

• Enjoy the Journey.  Keep going for what you want, but don't require a certain outcome to be attained before you allow yourself to feel happy.  Enjoy the whole time through.  Continuously strive for goals and growth - and treasure each step as part of a beautiful experience.  When you enjoy each step, you are excited to move forward and thus grow exponentially faster than the average.

"Success is not the key to happiness.  Happiness is the key to success.

If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." ~A. Schweitzer

• Be Fulfilled with Faith.  Whatever form it may be that fills your soul, know what it is for you.  If you have found and connected with your faith, treasure the blessing.  If you have followed a crowd into a practice - but don't find it fulfilling or haven't found what feels right for you - explore all kinds of faiths, beliefs, etc.  Those who have connected with their spirituality have a deep sense of purpose that fills their cup regularly and are not in need of anything outside to complete them.  So if this isn't your case, enjoy the journey of uncovering that and moving into living it.  Just keep following your curiosity and allow your heart to guide you.  Often times all you have to do is stop being in your own way.  It's always been there.  Just open up and be ready for it.  Nearly all forms of organized faith believe some form of "Ask and you shall receive."  You've always been invited.

• Trust.  We are given all we need.  We may always think we won't make it through, but we have, haven't we?  Everything is fine in this moment.  You've made it here.  There are those who are suffering greatly - and the more we can grow our collective consciousness, the more we can improve conditions and resolve root issues that so that the world is a safe and abundant place for everyone.  If each of us worked on ourself, that's all it would take.  As we grow, we can easily help many others who aren't getting enough.  Begin with practicing to trust in your daily life.  Trust that everything that comes to you is for a reason and that all you "need" is within reach.  This goes hand-in-hand with heartfelt faith, so begin cultivating your faith if this seems unfathomable.  If you are already in connection with your spirituality, step up to living it - with true trust.  This doesn't mean to act ignorantly at all.  It means to get up and dance with life.  Stop fearing it.  It really is all happening perfectly.  Not always wonderfully, but always perfectly for where we are at.

"Each problem has in it an opportunity so powerful 

that it literally dwarfs the problem." ~J. Sugarman

• Give Thanks.   Receive everything with gratitude - even challenges.  Start each day with giving thanks and your entire experience will significantly shift for the better.  It's not only proven scientifically, but supported by many of the most successful people in the world in every sort of realm.  Feel GREAT by being grateful.

"The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today
is to start being grateful for what you have right now." ~Oprah Winfrey

• Select Your Experience.  You are not a victim to anything.  You experience whatever it is you focus your attention on and invest your energy into.  Instead of fear, choose to focus on loving outcomes and that which you prefer rather than fear.  Don't give into dramas.  Release them and LET GO!  It's amazingly freeing!!!  Don't worry about others and stop judging them.  Look at the things you see everyday that are vibrantly displaying something that is not your preference, give thanks that you've seen it to know more about what you do not want, and then reflect on what it is you do want instead.  Focus on CREATING that what you prefer rather than REACTING to that which you are not interested in or refuse.  These irritators and attractors are divine breadcrumbs.  Notice them, take note, and adjust your experience accordingly.  As you make these adjustments, you feel happier, and attract less from your fears.  A basic part of life is facing our fears and growing beyond them.  When those times come, welcome them, stand up, and be your best.  You'll get through them fine.  We are only faced with what we are prepared to work on.  If we aren't ready to grow beyond them yet, we keep facing them until we learn to grow beyond them.  These are the basic patterns of life - the divine dance.  As you notice the challenges become easier, select your next level of growth - and keep going!

"All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within." ~H. Friess

• Know Your Story - and Then Move On.  We all have a past that was not what we'd define as ideal at the time.  So own up to it, be aware of it, and take new steps in light of it.  When you do that - when you give life your all - you consciously create one that is in alignment with who you are now.  Fully participate by checking in with yourself and adjusting your conditions as necessary.

"What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life." 

~Leo Buscaglia

• Have Compassion for Yourself - and Others.  I'd really like to list this first as this was one of my biggest lessons, but I think it makes more sense to be here, logically... so here it is.  Be your best - and lighten up on yourself knowing that you are giving it your all.  So many of us are so damn hard on ourselves that we are stuck in think layers of guilt - paralyzed in life.  Many of us have an inner voice (yes, we talk to ourselves in our heads - know it!) that is extremely critical and downright abusive.  This happens.  Its not your fault.  Its part of our collective consciousness.  So choose to rise above it.  Make a commitment today to love yourself and be your best friend.  Your entire life will change significantly and it will be much more enjoyable.  Many of us, women especially, seek a fulfilling relationship from others.  If we can give it to ourselves, we can truly be a delight to others - adding to their experience, rather than trying to pull them into ours.  Be love.  The more you love yourself, the more you can really love others.  You can love them with Pure Love rather than one fueled with selfish motivations.  The more you love others, the more you will love yourself.  Get in the love cycle guys.  It's much more fun than the one you've probably been stuck in...  Be at peace with trying your best, honoring your needs and feelings, and being love.

"Every object, every being, is a jar full of delight." ~Rumi

• Honor Your Feelings.  When things feel bad, when you are sad, or feeling down, don't shy away from the truth.  Take off the rosy colored lenses and be openly honest about what's going on.  Tune into you.  These feelings are divine sign posts.  Honor them by looking at them and see what needs adjusting.  This is a great way to truly being happy.  We have our own guidance system built in.  Make sure to check on it often.  Emotions rise.  Stop and tend to your feelings as soon as you can.  Give yourself the conditions to compassionately deal with them. We all are faced with sadness.  Life is constantly changing and its hard to let go of things that we treasure.  However, we can still be sad without being unhappy.  As we grow in awareness of the beautiful cycles of life, we can grieve with gratitude for what leaves us or the challenges we go through.  Its a way of blessing it with love and letting go.  With a solid foundation, these things don't take away our happiness.  We can be happy with the process and what is to come from the changes.  We can even be happy when we are sad - happy because we are feeling our emotions rather than thinking our way out of them.  It says a lot about how much we've grown!

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other

in the year's course.  Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,

the world 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." ~C. Jung

• Speak Your Truth.  Be who you are.  Be totally you.  You are a gift from God, as we all are.  So please, be you.  As they say, "everyone else is already taken".  But seriously, there is beauty in who you are.  Allow it to unfold and share your authentic being with the world and with your loved ones.  We need you.  When faced with challenges, stand up as who you are and share your feelings and perspective with others.  Live your truth.  It's much more enjoyable, very freeing, and lots of fun.   We are all different pieces of the puzzle - each one essential and equally a part.   

• Have Fun.  We all have our own funny characteristics and likes.  I love to play games.  I consider it a very serious part of my day to retreat into something fun.  It's healing and reenergizing.  I love it.  Be goofy if you like to be goofy.  Be dorky if you are really a secret dork inside - or possibly even a very obvious one :).  Enjoy your life.  Spend time with those who make you laugh.  Sing out loud even if you sound terrible.  Watch your favorite comedian at least once a week for a few moments.   Live your life as art - and share that pleasure with others.  Squeeze smiles, laughs, and fun into every moment you can.  Lighten up and don't take it too seriously.

"Happiness is not in the mere possession of money;

it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort."

~ Franklin Roosevelt

• Nurture Your Relationship with God.  Develop it, treasure it, make it a part of your daily being, and relax into it.  Remember you are a soul having a human experience, not the other way around.  Think of life as a Harvard of experience and growth - and every day give thanks that there is so much beyond here and that you are so much more beyond your body.  Have fun while you've got it and make the most of this experience as well.  Indulge in your personal relationship with your Creator and the life you have been given today.  Savor the gifts of the Divine.

• Be in Service.  A secret of the manifestation masters - the creme of the crop lesson in these teachings - is that you can reap rewards exponentially faster by giving others what it is you seek.  By focusing on another, you can much more easily find the way to what it is you are seeking. Now, hopefully your motivation is simply to give back...   but whatever it may be to get you started, leave a legacy and participate in the world.  Give back and make life a little better each day.  One very simple way is to smile at a stranger.  Such a simple act, yet greatly changeable.  Be in the habit of smiling.  A huge way to assist the growth of the collective is to dedicate service to those you can help.  If your skill is cooking, cook for an elderly family member and share a few hours with them.  If your skill is financial calculations, help your mom get ready for her taxes.  If we'd all just give back at home that would make a huge change.  If you can reach farther and give back where others aren't reaching enough yet, that helps greatly too.  If you can do both, great!

"Happiness cannot come from without.  It must come from within.
It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy;
it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves."
~Helen Keller 

As I continue to grow and get even more curious, I often become the subject of my own studies.  In the last ten years I've significantly made changes in my life to go for everything that I've dreamed of.  Not everything is always "going great," but I am greatly happy - from the inside.  It was tough and took strength to be brave enough to expand beyond my limits and do some of the hardest things for me, however, a much better self relationship has ensued.  I am grateful and enjoying the blessings of this foundation all well-spring in my life.  It is always there.

I've also had my share of hardships and adversity.  My life hasn't been a cake walk.  However, I don't let my challenges keep me down, rather, each one builds on and adds to my character.  Through the experiences, I grow.  Although some were extremely painful, through them I chose to transform.  I stood up, faced them, and dealt with my feelings.  I went for love and growth beyond the pain.  Not right away.  I allowed the healing process to flow naturally, but I did make sure I got back up - each and every time.  Mistakes we make and challenges we face can often spark amazing changes that will last us a lifetime.

Please share your experience or favorite quote.  What makes you happy?
  
To our happiest year and decade yet, with lots of Love!

by Danielle Crume © 2010 - baby! :)

A New Year's Compass - Tool of Self Alignment for Starting Anew.

Ready for a Fresh Start for the New Year? I am! I feel very excited. It feels like the right time to let go of things that I no longer need or prefer to have in my life anymore and to stand up to new levels of growth and experience. This week, I felt tuned inward, like I've been tending to some inner work and resting, in preparation for a great start in the New Year. As it gets closer, I am more enthusiastic about it. I feel very ready for moving forward.

Exercises to Renew Your Experience and Start Your Year Off Brand New

• Ring in the New Year by celebrating your experience, growth, and love. Do something that is very fun for *you*.
• Spruce up your desk area with creative objects such as a new set of colorful pens, an array of sticky notes, a rubber band ball, new pictures, etc. Organizing and cleaning always helps to tidy us up on a deeper level too.
• Change your internet home page (the website screen you always start on) to something that inspires you. Find one that makes you feel creative, energetic, or relaxed. Update other website shortcuts that you frequent and your desktop background as well. (If you’ve signed up for my What’s Rising Newsletter, you’ve been sent a background that I created which is perfect for this type of stuff. If you don’t have it, email me and I’ll resend it to you).
• Deep clean the spaces that you rarely clean.  Freshen up your daily tools.
• Get out and go visit loved ones that you don't get to see enough.
• Set out some new recent pictures.
• Nurture yourself with a luxurious bath, revamp your self-care and/or beauty products, and set up some healthy tasty treats in the kitchen.
• Start a new journal for 2010. Get one that looks attractive to you – one that you are excited to pick up. Take note of the inklings of your newly rising ideas to review again in spring when you officially plant your seeds for the next cycle.
• Reorganize your messiest area.
• Ponder: are your actions and decisions based on fear or love? Those are the two root categories of feelings - all are based in some form of a fear or feelings of love. So notice which drives you most. Are you happy with what you find?

This year let's take it up a big notch!  We can ensure this best by putting our full efforts into that which is truly important to us.  By letting go of old practices and concepts, we can breakthrough the recurring patterns that hold us back - move fully beyond them.

Be open to new approaches not influenced by fear or lack, but of love and abundance. Take bold steps of action based on thorough preparation.

Love!

by Danielle Crume © 2009

How to Utilize Emotions for Their Divine Purpose & Follow Through with Healthy Communication for Growth & Improving Relationships

This does not qualify as my favorite thing to do… but communication is a basic skill that we all should have.  The fact is, however, that many of us are very gray and elementary in this area.  It’s not something emphasized in school and it’s not fun to deal with unhappy feelings and challenges – so we usually avoid them like the plague.  But if we open to the divine opportunities within them, we can reap great rewards and change feelings into freelings.

Communication has been rising for me during the challenges of the holidays, so as I brush up on my skills and refresh what I know, I share it with you! :)  This is an expansion of what I previously wrote about in many articles including Communication and Dealing with Conflict, but goes much farther into the earlier steps of being clear about the emotions you need to communicate.


I am still very stubborn and many times I delay this process, but through my experience with it, I always come back to these steps and feel EXTREMELY THANKFUL once I do.

1. Process Your Emotions.  (No emotion is too small for being super clear!)
1. Be aware of the trigger –

                                             i.     What situation caused the negative emotion? (anger/frustration/hurt/sadness/etc)

                                            ii.     What action in the situation caused you to feel upset? What feelings did you feel?

2. Vent and let it out!   Vent to another source (not directly to the person who hurt you).  Express your feelings as if you are saying them directly to the person that upset you.  Use cuss words if you want, they help get the emotions out.  Be bold and let it all out - even more than you usually would say.  Connect with that original upset feeling.  Options include:

                                             i.     Use the Emotional Processing Worksheet 

                                            ii.     Punch a pillow

                                           iii.     Exercise with intention of releasing the pain

                                           iv.     Write

                                            v.     Talk with a (different) friend

                                           vi.     Talk with God

                                          vii.     Cry

                                         viii.     Whatever FEELS RIGHT and lets out the feelings of frustration

3. See the mirror.  What aspect of you is being reflected in this divine opportunity for growth?   Know that you attracted the situation and you are not a victim.  This is a perfect opportunity to see where you can grow.  Love yourself enough to see what you can learn.  See the situation as a set up by your higher self to reflect an aspect of you so that you can see it.  Please do not feel ashamed - instead feel thankful that you have this opportunity and seize it so that you do not need another one.  See how you have felt and acted toward both this person and toward yourself.  Anything that you think they did is really just a mirror to show you how you have acted in some way or another.  This is the biggest opportunity to realize out of this whole process, so take your time here.  Include the exact feelings you felt in parts A and B, above.  Get to the core feelings.

*Hint hint*: look at what you felt strongest (keywords) in your venting. 

When you truly see the mirror, you will feel compassion and gratitude toward the other person for bringing you to this realization.  If you’re not there yet, keep looking within!  If needed, keep venting and come back to this step.

4. Determine how you can be better next time.  Don’t feel guilty here, just look for opportunity to grow next time.  Envision the ideal way to face these challenges.  Now that you have seen the whole picture, what would be the ideal reaction to have?
5. Apologize if necessary.  If you find after processing your emotions that you should apologize to someone else, use the following notes to guide you.  Speak to the Pain.  When you hurt someone, ask them to define the pain they felt honestly before you apologize.  Take note of the names of the feelings they felt as you will need to use these words exactly as they are said during your apology.  Sometimes you have hurt yourself.  In this case, apologize to your inner child - that little kid inside you that is pure, innocent, and not of this world.  Sometimes you've betrayed promises to yourself.  The apology must be sent from your thymus to the other person's thymus.  The thymus is located in the chest and sends out a healing apology.  This happens when the lower emotions are transmuted into compassion.  True compassion is felt when your feeling changes from victim mentality to thankfulness for the opportunity to learn what you have.  The person apologizing must not defend their actions - no excuses or rationalizing.  Offer amends and compensation if you feel compelled to do so.  This will serve as a reminder to you for remembering the lesson as well.  Give thanks for them in playing the role to show you this.  You cannot apologize too early or it will be disregarded.  If the pain has risen again, the first apology will be useless.

2.   Communicate Your Feelings

a.    Follow through to heal and raise awareness in your relationship.  AFTER venting and being clear on your emotions, with the intention of bringing healing to the relationship, share what you have learned or what needs to be communicated to the other person.  Stick to the facts and stay away from labels or judgments.  It is best to do this after apologizing for any hurt feelings you may have caused.  This is done simply to ensure that both partners are aware of the needs of each other so that you can create a fulfilling relationship.

b.   Use the following template for communication to make sure what you say is clear in communicating what you feel:

When you _______________(briefly describe the situation)

I feel/felt ___________________ (describe your feelings)

Because I _______________ (describe what need you have that wasn’t fulfilled)

Ex:  "When you yell, I feel attacked and disrespected because I need to be talked to calmly."  Remember to speak with love and the intention of simple communication.  If you are still feeling like a victim, you are not ready for this step yet.  Go back to step 1.

3.   Provide a Solid Foundation for Communication (For Them)   *please note that this part can come in any order, depending on your partner... be ready - as this is out of your control.

a.    To have a healthy relationship, the other person needs to be able to talk to you about their feelings as well.  Healing can really take place if they feel you are compassionate with their feelings.  This can be tough if you haven’t dealt with yours yet.  If that’s the case, simply COMMUNICATE to them to let them know you need some time before you can honor their feelings as they deserve because you are still working through yours. Make sure they know you are working on it and not just abandoning them.

b.   Be present and ready to receive their feelings when they share them (or communicate otherwise as stated above and let them know when you’re ready). 

c.    If their feelings trigger more of your feelings, continue to listen and be open to receiving what they say.  Hold the space of listening.  Give thanks to them for sharing and let them know that you need to step away and process your emotions.  Go back to step one and then communicate with them what you realize when you've gone through the steps.  DO NOT start venting or arguing with them. 

4.   Follow Up

a.    To be extra thorough, you can create a log of feelings, communications, etc.  This can help if it seems that there hasn’t been forward movement on a particular issue for quite some time.  Revisit the log once a month or so to discuss the progress made and ideas for more growth.

Would LOVE to hear what works for you!!!

To clarity and love - and the strength required to be!

by Danielle Crume © 2009