A New Year's Compass - Tool of Self Alignment for Starting Anew.

Ready for a Fresh Start for the New Year? I am! I feel very excited. It feels like the right time to let go of things that I no longer need or prefer to have in my life anymore and to stand up to new levels of growth and experience. This week, I felt tuned inward, like I've been tending to some inner work and resting, in preparation for a great start in the New Year. As it gets closer, I am more enthusiastic about it. I feel very ready for moving forward.

Exercises to Renew Your Experience and Start Your Year Off Brand New

• Ring in the New Year by celebrating your experience, growth, and love. Do something that is very fun for *you*.
• Spruce up your desk area with creative objects such as a new set of colorful pens, an array of sticky notes, a rubber band ball, new pictures, etc. Organizing and cleaning always helps to tidy us up on a deeper level too.
• Change your internet home page (the website screen you always start on) to something that inspires you. Find one that makes you feel creative, energetic, or relaxed. Update other website shortcuts that you frequent and your desktop background as well. (If you’ve signed up for my What’s Rising Newsletter, you’ve been sent a background that I created which is perfect for this type of stuff. If you don’t have it, email me and I’ll resend it to you).
• Deep clean the spaces that you rarely clean.  Freshen up your daily tools.
• Get out and go visit loved ones that you don't get to see enough.
• Set out some new recent pictures.
• Nurture yourself with a luxurious bath, revamp your self-care and/or beauty products, and set up some healthy tasty treats in the kitchen.
• Start a new journal for 2010. Get one that looks attractive to you – one that you are excited to pick up. Take note of the inklings of your newly rising ideas to review again in spring when you officially plant your seeds for the next cycle.
• Reorganize your messiest area.
• Ponder: are your actions and decisions based on fear or love? Those are the two root categories of feelings - all are based in some form of a fear or feelings of love. So notice which drives you most. Are you happy with what you find?

This year let's take it up a big notch!  We can ensure this best by putting our full efforts into that which is truly important to us.  By letting go of old practices and concepts, we can breakthrough the recurring patterns that hold us back - move fully beyond them.

Be open to new approaches not influenced by fear or lack, but of love and abundance. Take bold steps of action based on thorough preparation.

Love!

by Danielle Crume © 2009

How to Utilize Emotions for Their Divine Purpose & Follow Through with Healthy Communication for Growth & Improving Relationships

This does not qualify as my favorite thing to do… but communication is a basic skill that we all should have.  The fact is, however, that many of us are very gray and elementary in this area.  It’s not something emphasized in school and it’s not fun to deal with unhappy feelings and challenges – so we usually avoid them like the plague.  But if we open to the divine opportunities within them, we can reap great rewards and change feelings into freelings.

Communication has been rising for me during the challenges of the holidays, so as I brush up on my skills and refresh what I know, I share it with you! :)  This is an expansion of what I previously wrote about in many articles including Communication and Dealing with Conflict, but goes much farther into the earlier steps of being clear about the emotions you need to communicate.


I am still very stubborn and many times I delay this process, but through my experience with it, I always come back to these steps and feel EXTREMELY THANKFUL once I do.

1. Process Your Emotions.  (No emotion is too small for being super clear!)
1. Be aware of the trigger –

                                             i.     What situation caused the negative emotion? (anger/frustration/hurt/sadness/etc)

                                            ii.     What action in the situation caused you to feel upset? What feelings did you feel?

2. Vent and let it out!   Vent to another source (not directly to the person who hurt you).  Express your feelings as if you are saying them directly to the person that upset you.  Use cuss words if you want, they help get the emotions out.  Be bold and let it all out - even more than you usually would say.  Connect with that original upset feeling.  Options include:

                                             i.     Use the Emotional Processing Worksheet 

                                            ii.     Punch a pillow

                                           iii.     Exercise with intention of releasing the pain

                                           iv.     Write

                                            v.     Talk with a (different) friend

                                           vi.     Talk with God

                                          vii.     Cry

                                         viii.     Whatever FEELS RIGHT and lets out the feelings of frustration

3. See the mirror.  What aspect of you is being reflected in this divine opportunity for growth?   Know that you attracted the situation and you are not a victim.  This is a perfect opportunity to see where you can grow.  Love yourself enough to see what you can learn.  See the situation as a set up by your higher self to reflect an aspect of you so that you can see it.  Please do not feel ashamed - instead feel thankful that you have this opportunity and seize it so that you do not need another one.  See how you have felt and acted toward both this person and toward yourself.  Anything that you think they did is really just a mirror to show you how you have acted in some way or another.  This is the biggest opportunity to realize out of this whole process, so take your time here.  Include the exact feelings you felt in parts A and B, above.  Get to the core feelings.

*Hint hint*: look at what you felt strongest (keywords) in your venting. 

When you truly see the mirror, you will feel compassion and gratitude toward the other person for bringing you to this realization.  If you’re not there yet, keep looking within!  If needed, keep venting and come back to this step.

4. Determine how you can be better next time.  Don’t feel guilty here, just look for opportunity to grow next time.  Envision the ideal way to face these challenges.  Now that you have seen the whole picture, what would be the ideal reaction to have?
5. Apologize if necessary.  If you find after processing your emotions that you should apologize to someone else, use the following notes to guide you.  Speak to the Pain.  When you hurt someone, ask them to define the pain they felt honestly before you apologize.  Take note of the names of the feelings they felt as you will need to use these words exactly as they are said during your apology.  Sometimes you have hurt yourself.  In this case, apologize to your inner child - that little kid inside you that is pure, innocent, and not of this world.  Sometimes you've betrayed promises to yourself.  The apology must be sent from your thymus to the other person's thymus.  The thymus is located in the chest and sends out a healing apology.  This happens when the lower emotions are transmuted into compassion.  True compassion is felt when your feeling changes from victim mentality to thankfulness for the opportunity to learn what you have.  The person apologizing must not defend their actions - no excuses or rationalizing.  Offer amends and compensation if you feel compelled to do so.  This will serve as a reminder to you for remembering the lesson as well.  Give thanks for them in playing the role to show you this.  You cannot apologize too early or it will be disregarded.  If the pain has risen again, the first apology will be useless.

2.   Communicate Your Feelings

a.    Follow through to heal and raise awareness in your relationship.  AFTER venting and being clear on your emotions, with the intention of bringing healing to the relationship, share what you have learned or what needs to be communicated to the other person.  Stick to the facts and stay away from labels or judgments.  It is best to do this after apologizing for any hurt feelings you may have caused.  This is done simply to ensure that both partners are aware of the needs of each other so that you can create a fulfilling relationship.

b.   Use the following template for communication to make sure what you say is clear in communicating what you feel:

When you _______________(briefly describe the situation)

I feel/felt ___________________ (describe your feelings)

Because I _______________ (describe what need you have that wasn’t fulfilled)

Ex:  "When you yell, I feel attacked and disrespected because I need to be talked to calmly."  Remember to speak with love and the intention of simple communication.  If you are still feeling like a victim, you are not ready for this step yet.  Go back to step 1.

3.   Provide a Solid Foundation for Communication (For Them)   *please note that this part can come in any order, depending on your partner... be ready - as this is out of your control.

a.    To have a healthy relationship, the other person needs to be able to talk to you about their feelings as well.  Healing can really take place if they feel you are compassionate with their feelings.  This can be tough if you haven’t dealt with yours yet.  If that’s the case, simply COMMUNICATE to them to let them know you need some time before you can honor their feelings as they deserve because you are still working through yours. Make sure they know you are working on it and not just abandoning them.

b.   Be present and ready to receive their feelings when they share them (or communicate otherwise as stated above and let them know when you’re ready). 

c.    If their feelings trigger more of your feelings, continue to listen and be open to receiving what they say.  Hold the space of listening.  Give thanks to them for sharing and let them know that you need to step away and process your emotions.  Go back to step one and then communicate with them what you realize when you've gone through the steps.  DO NOT start venting or arguing with them. 

4.   Follow Up

a.    To be extra thorough, you can create a log of feelings, communications, etc.  This can help if it seems that there hasn’t been forward movement on a particular issue for quite some time.  Revisit the log once a month or so to discuss the progress made and ideas for more growth.

Would LOVE to hear what works for you!!!

To clarity and love - and the strength required to be!

by Danielle Crume © 2009

 

  

Recipes for Self Love

This is something I received - that I love. Hope you enjoy these loving reminders:

Take full responsibility for your life.

Stop blaming others.

See yourself as the cause of what happens to you.

Do the things you like to do.

Don’t stay in a job you don’t like.

Participate in life at the highest level you can.

Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts.

Be gentle and kind and patient with yourself.

Give yourself the simple pleasures of life abundantly.

Wear clothes you feel good in, get a massage, etc.

Watch what you say.

Avoid self put-downs.

Stop being critical of yourself and others.

Take care of your body.

Give it exercise and good food.

Be willing to create a lifestyle that generates and nourishes self-esteem.

Associate with others with high self-esteem.

Acknowledge yourself frequently.

Keep a diary of your successes and accomplishments.

Give yourself permission to do nothing periodically.

Schedule time by yourself.

Frequently take deep breaths.

Discover the benefit and pleasure of breathing fully.

Eat first class frequently.

Don’t look at the price.

Stop trying to change others.

Focus your attention on being the way you want others to be.

Look in the mirror regularly and say,

“I love you, I really love you.”

Stop feeling guilty and saying “I’m sorry;”

See mistakes as valuable lessons and avoid judging yourself.

Avoid comparing yourself with others.

Consciously generate positive thoughts and feelings of self-love

In place of old thoughts of inadequacy.

Be willing to laugh at yourself and at life.

Stop taking yourself so seriously.

Accept compliments from others without embarrassment.

Don’t invalidate their positive thoughts and feelings about you.

Be kind to your mind.

Don’t hate yourself for having negative thoughts.

Gently change your thoughts.

Keep your awareness and your thoughts focused in present time

Instead of living in the past or future.

Acknowledge others frequently;

Tell them what you like and appreciate in them.

Invest money in yourself.

Go to seminars, workshops and courses that develop your talents and interests.

Make a list of 10 things that you love doing and do them frequently.

Treat yourself as you would treat someone you really loved.

Praise yourself

-Author Unknown

Announcing the ::Aham Prema:: Newsletter - What's Rising

I have just totally redone my newsletter! I'm VERY excited about it. Check it out!

The Aham Prema Newsletter is a quick, fun read with updates on what is going on, links to favorite articles, and it usually has a goody for readers...

FREE monthly updates from me on life, clarity, and growth.

Click here to see the full newsletter

Please sign up here if you'd like to stay informed.

Whatcha think?

Love!

by Danielle Crume © 2009

I Can't Believe I Am 30!!! Reflections and the Future...

There’s always some sadness as I feel that time is slipping away. Never again in this lifetime will I be a young girl in my teens or twenties. Those days are behind me now - for good. It’s a reminder that this beautiful life is not forever… being with that thought both hurts and relieves me at the same time.

However, it is with incredible enthusiasm that I step forward. Each day I become more me. Now I stand on a greater foundation, with outstanding vision, faith, and a solid relationship with my self.

It seems every birthday brings some kind of weird mood. It's something nearly all of us go through, I think.

On my 26^th birthday I decided I was no longer a helpless princess. On that day I first faced the feelings of getting older. “What more is there to look forward to?” I questioned my self. “No more exciting birthdays in the future?” At that moment, I decided to change into a Queen. It was a mindset shift into greater power within myself. Ever since that choice I have taken more responsibility for myself, taken my happiness into my own hands, taken life head on, and have been more enthusiastic about inevitable aging. I now see all stages of growth as beautiful. I look forward to the thirties as the era of my youthful prime. I also look forward to the years beyond as I will embrace my earned wisdom and become a Grandmother of the Earth.

This year I felt the need to celebrate. I am the type who does not make a big deal out of my life events. When I found out I was pregnant, I was immediately terrified of having to have a baby shower. For my 30th birthday, I wanted to be different than I have in the past. I took a trip to Las Vegas with my immediate family and had the BEST TIME EVER! :) This big milestone had me reviewing my life deeply with a new perspective. I am so thankful to say that I made it through my own trials and am officially pleased. I can be very difficult at times :). Part of the bliss of my aging is that I have learned to work with my own characteristics.

There were many great lessons of my twenties. I learned about my own values, explored various extremes to find my own balance, became a mother, and actually birthed new life into this world. In my early twenties I became a “step-mother” to a loving, beautiful young girl (age 9 at the time, now 16). After having my son and going through the wonderful process of creating life, I learned about the feelings of being a mother, from the inside. Parenting gave me insight into greater levels of life and I began to find out how to make mine ideal – for me – and for these beautiful beings I have the opportunity to affect so much.

I became much more aware of myself. I got curious about things, explored, and questioned a lot. My levels of consciousness have expanded exponentially allowing me a great delight in the “small” things of life, seeing how truly miraculous they are.

My understanding of the Divinity of life, deeply developing my own personal relationship with God/the Creator/Source, knowing my Faith, and actually feeling Trust all grew in this wonderous decade. These gifts are my greatest blessings.

The largest lesson of my twenties consisted of building a truly loving relationship with myself. I am no longer critical and hard on myself. I am my biggest supporter and am very compassionate to my experiences and “failures”, seeing them as the little steps that help me take the larger ones. I no longer seek outside love to fulfill my days or make me feel happier. I fill my own well and share it with others. Only now do I truly love others – not out of neediness or want, but from simple pure love. Whew, these lessons have freed me up from my own feelings of victim-hood and have helped to create the solid foundation that I own with gratitude today. My daily life is a joyous journey.

I am better and better as life goes on. Now I get out there and really dance with the bittersweet, magnificent song of life. And while I always wish for more, faster, and greater success, as I continuously mature, I recognize the beauty in the process. Looking back I can see amazing growth - and with that awareness, I happily accept the pace that life brings. I enjoy the being of all of it rather than waiting for the goals to be completed until feeling happy.

I enter my thirties being very excited for the future. I feel that I’m at my prime. I have a greater sense of my self, excellent resources combined with expansive resourcefulness, and the experience to empower me in all that I dream of. I look forward to giving back more and co-creating the world to make it even better. My dreams are bigger, more meaningful for me, and feel more real than ever before. Now watch as I reach for them!!!

Good-bye beautiful queen. Hello beautiful empress. Here we go! :)

I give thanks I've made it here and can’t wait to see what happens this decade.

by Danielle Crume © 2009